19/10/2020 - 23/11/2020 (Week 9 - Week 14) Naim Zuki, (0346615)
| Bachelor of Design (Hons) in Creative Media Digital Photography & Imaging Project 3
LECTURES
Lecture 9 | Introduction to Surrealistic Parallax
As a continuation of the Self-Titled project, Surrealistic Parallax bears the same concept and direction, that is to create a digital collage that reflects what we think of ourselves. Though in this project, we are to turn that collage into an animated parallax video.
For this project, I wanted to depart from what I've done in the Self-Titled project and try out different ideas. My main reason was to challenge myself and try out new things so I don't get bored of looking at my final compilation. Though as I delved deeper into experiments and various concepts, I couldn't create anything that I was proud of. I was out of it. Again, for weeks I was at a loss of ideas and I ended up throwing everything in the bin. After which, I went back to my old discarded concepts from the Self-Titled project and discovered a good potential idea to develop. This explains why later in the development you see me going through different ideas but ended up doing something completely different.
But all in all, I wanted to make something that speaks about what I struggle with daily. From detachment to anxiety and much more. With every experiment I make I'll try to explain the ideas behind it as best as I could. The explanation of the ideas will be italicised before any of the experiments I've made. Sounds confusing? Don't worry, it's pretty easy to catch on once you see it. I hope you'll enjoy! Here's a cookie 🍪.
IDEA EXPLORATION
When I was pitching ideas for this project by going through Pinterest for interesting photomanipulation concepts, I was somehow heavily drawn into neon-inspired works. That could be coming from my experiments of doing neon typography animation for typo class but who knows. Nonetheless, I find myself astounded by some of the works I've found so I decided I'd try this style out.
For this project, I didn't start with any sketches and just went into photoshop and improvised my way through. I started by trying out the "slashed face" look. Using the pictures I took beforehand, I toned up the purple and adjusted the exposure to bring out the shadows. Afterwards drew in the circles by hand using the brush tool and used the gradient overlay on my body to create the internal colours. I've associated this piece with detachment.
Over the course of the past eight months, most of us have been isolating ourselves within the interiors of our home. Though as some would call this a heaven for avoiding unnecessary social interaction, others have been coping with the lack of social needs in a much darker light. I personally fall into the latter category. Struggling with abandonment issues and being the extraverted person has always meant that I constantly surround myself with loved ones and make sure that I don't feel lonely. Thus by the time the fourth month of the isolation has come, I began to feel as if I've lost myself more and more. My journals have become somewhat disorienting and my social personality have warped into something I'm unfamiliar with. More and more I feel... detached.
Fig. 1.5, First Idea; Detachment; 13/11/2020
Though when I finished this edit, I felt like it didn't have a clear idea. It wasn't self-explanatory. It didn't tell a complete story and what's worse was that I couldn't see this being an animated parallax. So I started over.
This time around, I wanted to approach the works that were made by Mateusz Lengling. There was something haunting about the ambiguity of his work. I couldn't stop looking at it. I thought it'd be a good source of inspiration.
In this edit, I cut out my head from one of the self-portraits I've taken and added a purple-neon circle behind it. For the textures of this edit, I've rendered some smoke in the background and used multiple gradient overlays to create the colouring of the image. My original plan for this edit was to relate it with the idea of insanity.
Though the definition of insanity might vary, I remember reading a quote that says insanity is when one does the exact same thing over and over again expecting different outcomes. I first read this quote when I was around fourteen years old and ever since then it has made me re-think and be critical with my actions. Though at the time, I made sure not to mention my thoughts of what insanity is to others because I knew it was a sensitive topic to discuss, so my nature towards it has always been dismissive.
Though, recently I've noticed a behavioural pattern in the people that I know, particularly towards destructive behaviours. I remember one of my friends approaching me to talk about their problem. At the time, no matter how I tried, I can't escape trying to insinuate that this problem they have very much relates back to that definition of insanity. This person was quick to catch on and mentioned that they've read the same thing before. As soon as they mentioned that, there was a sudden feeling of relief in me because I could finally open up about this topic I've been avoiding ever since I first read about it years ago. It became clear to me then that the feeling of insanity is very much the same as going around in circles. So many of us are so afraid of getting out of this bubble of comfort we're in that we're willing to develop a self-destructive pattern just so we wouldn't have to worry about the uncertainty of breaking that comfort.
Fig. 1.6, Second Idea; Insanity Pt. 1; 15/11/2020
In the second edit, the process was very much the same. I swapped out focus from the shades of red to shades of blue because of its literal meaning of melancholy and depression. I added the Pixel Sorting effect on the "tears" to act as a dramatic element on the composition.
Fig. 1.7, Original Picture of Waves (Image Sourced from Google)
Fig. 1.8, Edited Waves Image
Fig. 1.9, Third Idea; Insanity Pt. 2; 16/11/2020
At this point, I kept going back and forth between the experiments I've made and compared the ideas and aesthetics. Although I meant well with the ideas behind them, the longer I looked at them the more I cringed at myself. I couldn't bring myself to submit these as my final submission, so I threw these into the bin. I was left pretty clueless with what next to experiment. So I went back to discarded sketches and attempts I've made and found these:
Fig. 1.10, Discarded Sketch for Self-Titled, 30/10/2020
Fig. 1.11, Discarded idea for Self-Titled, 22/10/2020
Seeing these, I felt a little more drawn to it because the idea behind it was simpler and more straightforward. I asked my friends for thoughts and I mostly got similar reactions. This edit was made to discuss the idea of facial complexion. Specifically, one that involves scars. I've had these scars on my face and body and it has been a target of insecurity for many years past. I realise that many people feel the same way. They're "blue" about this topic. I want this work to let those who struggle with the same problem know that it's okay to have scars and there's nothing wrong with it.
It already looked clean and well done so I only made changes to the "tears" and the ratio of the composition to adhere to the 1980x1080 ratio that was set for this project. But since I already used an external component in this composition (that is the "tears"), adding someone else's music felt like it defeats the purpose of this being a reflection of myself. So I used a simple tune that I wrote a while back to accompany this video. This song is in my favourite key to play: C major, and only consists of the chords C major and G major. The melody is just me improvising over A minor pentatonic.
Fig. 1.12, Final Edit; 16/10/2020
Fig. 1.13, Final Surrealistic Parallax Submission, 16/10/2020
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FEEDBACK
For this project, I didn't have much to show Mr Fauzi during in-class consultation because I couldn't come up with any ideas throughout the period of this project. The few feedback that I got from him were at the start of the project when I showed him a discarded concept from the Self-Titled project (a different one from the one in this blog) and at the end of the project when he saw my final submission.
Week 10
Mr Fauzi said that some parts of the cutout are poorly done: there were inconsistencies in the feathering and sharpness of the cutouts. However, he did note that this was at the start of the project and I'm headed in the right direction. He encouraged me to keep going and develop more ideas.
Week 14
I showed Mr Fauzi my final edit for this project and he approves of my work. Saying that it "looks like a finished work". He particularly liked how the hue of the tears changed from white to green and the music in the background fits in with the entire aesthetic of the composition. He urged me to submit right away.
REFLECTIONS
Experience
Designing for this project was by far the hardest thing this module has thrown at me. It was both technically and philosophically challenging. You can tell that I wanted to include so many different ideas and discuss multiple topics regarding mental health but I couldn't be satisfied with any of the concepts I've done. While doing these experiments, I wasn't focused on the technicalities I've learned along the way. My focus was purely on what message I wanted to convey, I suppose that's where most of the stress was coming from; creating a piece that matters to me.
Observation
My ideas and aesthetics are heavily reliant on what emotions I'm going through while in the process of making these designs. I'm already well aware of this fact but compared to before, it hasn't been so visually apparent. This is also true with the Cyborg Project: my working process goes far smoother when I detach myself from the styles that were visible in class and explore my own ideas and interests.
Findings
Comparing the concepts and the final submission of this project, I find that a certain level or merit has to be given to simple designs that are effective in communicating ideas. This project has taught me that although self-expression is very personal and can oftentimes be cryptic, it is also important to balance that expression with communication so the audience can easily comprehend what we designers are trying to convey.
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